i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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