You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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