We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
