saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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