DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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