Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
