Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize