This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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