My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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