im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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