I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
