I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
