the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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