My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had to cum in my sink.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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