I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
