We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
