fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
