We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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