you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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