There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Panties = found
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
