Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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