You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize