I'm so fucking centered right now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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