i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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