Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize