My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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