her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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