He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
