Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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