We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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