i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
