Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Every day of my life.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?

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(248): View more from Michigan

like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.

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(773): View more from Illinois

What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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(954): View more from Florida

malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand

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(831): View more from California

It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.

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(310): View more from California

I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.

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