im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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