I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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