No stitches, just platelets and will power
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
