He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
