did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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