I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize