do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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