I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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