so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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