we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
