Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
