There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
