THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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