Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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