dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
