I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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