i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
