So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
