Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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