I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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