everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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