as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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