Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
