I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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