Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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