Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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